Seeking God 

More Lessons

Tonight was another RCIA meeting, one I was unfortunately late for due to The Husband's late leaving for work, which delayed my own errands by a bit. However, I was in time for a good discussion about God the Father. We are starting a unit on the Apostle's Creed, after spending one quick night on Mary and her role in the church. Hmm...Oh well, just because it is one of my major sticking points does not mean it is for everyone. Also, I didn't get to ask my questions this week, since I was late and missed the question time. I was a bit out of control all day today, and that trend continued tonight at the meeting, with me talking a bit too much and a bit off topic at times. I didn't get to do the dedication prep this morning, so maybe that had a bit to do with it. Not sure, but at any rate, I keep plugging along, reading "pillar of fire, pillar of truth" in my spare moments right now, and finishing up a book about the Mass. Hopefully I won't be late next week.

Contrast and Connection

Well, I saw today that at least a few people stopped by and looked, so I feel a bit better about continuing this blog. :)

Today some of the contrasts and similarities between the parish where I attend Mass and the pseudo-Presbyterian church that I have grown up in. At the moment I am still attending both, usually PP (pseudo-Presbyterian) i nthe morning, and Mass in the evening either on Saterday or Sunday, Today I actually really connected with people at the parish in a way I usually do at PP. At PP I usher every five weeks or so, and know a lot of faces and names, and share a long history with some of the regulars. Until today, I didn't really feel that same connection at all with my parish, but it so happened that the priest who usuallly presides at the daily Mass also precided this sunday that the evening mass, and on friday he had noticed my unusual keybob (it is a Mikey from Monsters Inc.) and today he also noticed it, and it made us both laugh.

I also got a chance to talke with the woman who runs the small bookstore at the parish, and talk with he about the parish and the people and about how I came to even consider the Catholic faith (touched by JPII's life amd esp. his death, initially) and we were able to talk for a few minutes and she showed me around and generally made me feel welcome. After attending here for a while I am now finally getting over being really shy and getting involved and really starting to feel connected.

Also, another thing I want to ask about at RCIA on tuesday is do I stay for the LIturgy of the Euchrist, or leave or do as I have been, which is approaching for a blessing, and iks there a set proceedure at this parish for how an adult must proceed in order to become Catholic. Just wanted to write that down before I forget....

Any comments on things I bring up on this blog are welcome, btw.! :)

First RCIA

Hey again,

Well, I survived my first RCIA class. Of all things for the topic to be, it would be the one that has been a sticking issue in my study of Catholic beliefs: reverance for Mary, Jesus' mother. And wouldn't you know it, but the reading we were given answered a lot of my questions though not all. I still wonder where the belief in Mary's assumption "body and soul" into heaven came from. I find a lot of references in early writings for believing her to be ever-virgin, as well as reasonable explainations for Jesus' brother and sisters that does not involve Mary being pregnant again, but not much for Mary's assumption, especially in early writings. Maybe I can ask about that next week, when a deacon is supposed to come. I also want to ask if there is a relic in the alter, and if so what is it. Anyway, that's my only update at the moment, besides the fact that I am on Day 4 of the Preparation for Total Consecration, by St. Louis de Montford (?), and finding it very interesting.... more to come, I'm sure.

God bless

Some progress

Well, I went and did it.

Yesterday after attending 8:30 Mass I called about the RCIA class, and got the information. Unfortuately, it meets Tuesday's at seven, so I am not sure how long I will be able to go, but I am already planning on going this tuesday. Keep me in your prayers, as this is a real step for me.

On another issue, I had a discussion with The Husband about my seeking God in Catholicism, and it didn't go very well. At least neither one of us yelled or got really upset by it, though I really felt like it. However, I felt something beyond me restraining me from saying too much or from getting out of my chair. The Husband is still really hostile toward anything related to Roman Catholicism, to the point of forbidding me to have a Rosary in the house, let alone praying it. He does not know I have a bit of holy water in the house as well.

Despite The Husband's misgivings, I continue my readings, both on my handheld (a Godsend, ironically, from my Husband) and from the library. I am reading not only things about the Catholic Church in specific but alos getting into the history of Christianity and reading tranlated writings of early Christians, to see if the Church's claims are true, and I find that I am more and more convinced that the direction I am heading in is right. I also am reading a bit of stuff still about monastery tradition and what the modern monastery looks like. I still think that waiting for a while is a good idea, and so far it has proven to be the best thing for me to do in my life. I waited before getting married, and that went pretty well, and I waited before getting baptized, approaching twice before the thrid time which led to my baptism. I have been investigating Catholicism since somewhere around the end of May so by the end of August I will have passed through 3 months of waiting and learning, thus ready to make a preliminary vow, aka attend RCIA meetings/maybe go to first confession. I hope to become more regular in praying, though, before that happens.

Anyway, if you read this and feel like it, please comment!
Till next time.

Back again

Hi all,

I have been going back to work, and that has been draining all the energy I have to post to my blog here ,and next week is my Prostestant church's Vacation Bible School, which I will be participating in as much as possible. However at the moment I am still a bit confused about where God wants me to be, as far as going to church. I went to Mass this evening at my local parish, and really enjoyed it and felt at home, despite not much air conditioning and a lot of people. :) More at home and touched actually than I have felt in a bit at my regular church, and even at churches that clain to be "New Testament." This week I finished 2 books with Christian themes, one on the real story that inspired the movie "The Exorcist", and another on early Christian writings and what they reveal about the third century Church. A lot of what the Catholic Church now does is very similar to what the early writers talk about seeing in their own experiences of Christianity. MAybe I am on the right track, in exploring Catholicism, hopefully God will show me the path He wants me on. In fact today there was a huge ad in the bulletin at Mass about RCIA, more than just the little line in the directory on numbers about it. I am planning on calling about it sometime this week. I will keep you up to date, as much as I can as I continue this journey.

Till whenever we meet again.

General Intro

Hi all,

I am creating this blog in response to a need to move content from one area to another, and to separate some of my material, namely the stuff dealing with my seeking God, specifically in Catholicism. I am a baptized Christian who was raised in the Protestant traditions, yet has not found them satisfying as time goes on. This entry is just kind of a catch up on material from another blog; after this the material will be new.


I want to use this blog to bare my heart a bit on some issues of Christianity in my life right now, especially as I have become curious about Catholicism, and about the doctrines of the churches I currently attend (namely a loosely Presbyterian congregation and a Church of Christ) I am especially exploring what I believe, and need a place to sort out my thoughts. Somehow my Word screen alone lacks the personality for all this :).

Lately I have been doing some reading about Catholisicm and stumbled upon a book called "The Cloister Walk" by Kathleen Norris. She is married, from a protestant background, yet finds herself and her poetry drawn to the liturgy of a monastery.

Well, life has become even more facinating and my facination with Catholisicm continues, wvwn though I don't know where it is leading me at the moment. My7 husband is very adverse to my having anything to do with Catholicism, and I have to admit that getting up early enough on Sundays to attend the first Mass then attend regular services is a bit wearing, and the online version of Mass is not quite as satisfying. And yet my desire to particiapte more fully in the rites has not diminished, even after seeing the human weaqknesses also present in the service at my local parish. Only time and God will tell what will become of this little escapade of mine, as my husband has deemed it.

I discovered something in my reading on Catholisicm that I did not know until two days ago. If you are not taking the host, for whatever reason, you don't have to stick out like a sore thumb by being the only one to stay seated during the Eucharist. Getting a blessing made me feel much less conspicuous than I had in my previous few Masses, and with a simple sign of the cross on my forehead I truly felt blessed, like I had been touched by God. I also felt like I was participating more in the Mass than before, important to me because, with the exception of the sign of peace, I have not really felt a part of the parish community, though I do feel more settled and calm after Mass than before, even when I do not come with the nest attitude.
I have disocvered an online monastery and have been playing with the idea of joining, as an oblate of course since I am married. I have also been reading about some monastery customs, though, and ou don't just join, like you would a reading club or a golf group. Usually there is a waiting period before you even make an initial commitment to the order, and I feel that a similar waiting period in my own life is necessary, bith with regard to this monastery and the Catholic Church. I want to be sure of my commitment to either or both, and part of the point of a wiating period is to allow both the order and the candidate to get to know each other. While I have been researching Catholicism for over a month and attending at least one Mass a week for the past few weeks, I still have a lot of questions that it seems only time and God can answer for me.
So I will be waiting and watching and learning till the start of October, and of course sharing my journey here :) Best wishes to you all. (july 13)

Well, that is all my catch- up material. Hope you will join me on this journey, an please feel free to comment!